When The Lass I Was Loving for Years Finally Said Yes!: Episode 2
Episode 2: Scaling Up Our Friendship
It was on one occasion of a date at Chilly Bowl, in the first semester of my final year, that I asked if she would be my girlfriend. (The bond had become too strong to break, and I didn’t want to graduate 4-0, hahaha). She was stunned at first, and I got stunned too. She asked me to give her some time to think it over. I gladly consented, but deep within I feared I would be bounced. As I patiently waited for my dear Akos to give me a favourable response, I would often get beset with mixed feelings. I told my roommate I had proposed to Akos.
Kwao: Boy you for pray say she go accept oo.
Me: What else chale. My love for her has transcended the skies.
Kwao: You den your vibes.
Me: No be small punch line oo chale. But e go source.
After about two weeks since we last met at Chilly Bowl, I picked up my phone one Saturday evening to answer a call, and surprisingly, it was Akos. I hadn’t heard from after our recent date. We exchanged pleasantries and talked for a while. At the latter part of our call, she said ‘’Kwame, we’ve been good friends for a time now. It’s not bad if we would want to scale up our friendship. Please promise me you won’t break my heart and would handle me with care. My response, ‘’By God’s grace and with every fibre of my being, bae. My love for you transcends the visible sky into realms not seeable by the naked eye. Akos, I have come to love you dearly, and I know you do love me too’’. She added, in a soothing voice, ‘’I love you too Kwame and would love to be with you,’’ she added. We ended the call a few minutes later.
For a moment, I felt a cold chill down my spine; making me wanna wine and dine. It was as if a big blue bubble within my body just got burst. It was unbelievable and expected at the same time. Excitement hormones were just tripping up and down my body, as if I was an electron that had just received some vim to move from ground level to an excited state, hahaha. My roommate was not with me then, he had gone to study room to learn. When he returned, I broke the good news to him. He was unequivocally happy for me and advised me to keep a cool head and treat her well. I thanked him for his kind words. The task ahead now was how to manage academics and relationship, plus other duties. It surely was not gonna be easy. Remembering a line in the lyrics of a popular song, ‘’Nothing good comes easy, this I know,’’ I was a bit relieved.
‘‘Now that she has become my bae, what next?’’, I asked myself. ‘’Well, let’s keep our friendship tight and take it cool as well,’’ was the usual self-reply. Going out on dates had now become more frequent than it was before. We had special times when we would hang out, and Chilly Bowl was our usual resort; though once a while we went to a place outside campus. We talked more frequently than before, ate together sometimes and did things together when we visited each other. We had become so close that not even a bolt of the fiercest lightning could separate the bond that held us together; it was so covalent. Yet, we did our best to set healthy boundaries to avoid any unforeseen misfortune that could ruin our relationship.
We set some rules to keep our young relationship going: no sex until marriage, no titillating touches, effective communication, mutual ‘be your brother’s keeper’, no cheating!, among other levelheaded principles. We did our best to follow what we had developed ourselves to keep our rapport running on the right path. In the long term, our goal was marriage--to live together happily ever after. This achievement wouldn’t come on a silver platter; hence it had to be a mutual responsibility and each of us had a role to play; which we did. We kept the matrix of our relationship normal; fibred with respect, love and trust.
As her persciple (personal principle), she believed in commitment and service to work. This drove her to vie for the position of the Women’s Commissioner for the Association of Students’ of Ceramics Technology (ASCET), while in her second year. My girlfriend was going to be the department wocom, and surely I had to help her campaign. She had to show herself and air her policies to the electorate, especially first-year students, albeit she went unopposed. I led her campaign team. We went to all the respective classes; shared her messages on the virtual community especially WhatsApp; readied her for vetting, among other activities. The election day came and after the voting session at various poll centres on campus, the results emerged. She won the election with a whooping ‘Yes’ approval of 99%. Subsequently, she became the ASCET wocom.
Akos was the first lady I had ever dated; so I promised myself that I would treat her very well--as much as I could. Coincidentally, I was her first love too. We were both new in the love game that even younger folks have played in and messed things up a couple of times. We were newbies, but we weren’t naive, not at all. As university students, we could not be ignorant of the pros and cons of campus relationship. We had fair knowledge, though we were yet to build experience. But as they say, ‘‘Everything has a beginning.’’
Some of our friends were involved in relationship from secondary level to tertiary, we certainly had learnt something from them. Aside that we had read, watched and listened to relationship material; but more practically, we ourselves were determined to make this work. Our relationship wasn’t all-perfect, there were mishaps at certain times, but we did what we could do to keep it running effectively. Being there for each other was very key.
We still kept in touch after I completed my undergraduate program. By God’s grace, I got the opportunity to serve as a teaching assistant to one of our department’s lecturers, Prof Thomas Majid--Principles of Glass Science and other courses. Akos was in third year then, hoping to complete the following year. We still had some time to go out together, but not as often as when we were both students. After my national service, I got employed in the one of the nations biggest glass-making factories, Glitter Technologies, as a Product Inspector.
Work didn’t give me enough time to be checking up on Akos regularly, but we were still in touch. She understood my situation and did her best to keep in touch with me. She finally completed school and did her national service. She got employed in the tilemaking industry, at MawuAgbo Heavy Industries Ltd., as a member of the research team for the company. Now that we were both working, distance was not really a problem (we were both resident in the same city) but work, we still did our best to stay connected, like the WiFi and the mobile phone.
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